Category Archives: culture of care

‘Zero Tolerance’ of bullies? Hungary’s schools offer another response to conflict mediation

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As school boards, state and local governments draft legislation to respond to increased reports of bullying, the term “zero tolerance” often comes up. When New Jersey recently implemented its sweeping “Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights,” the “zero tolerance” formula appeared in several news reports.

I posed a question to a restorative justice discussion group on LinkedIn.com, asking if a zero tolerance approach is the wisest choice for conflict management. Not surprisingly, the RJ practitioners and volunteers who responded were unanimous: No, it is not the wisest approach.

One member, writing from London, England, pointed me to a video — Intertwined –produced by a school-based conflict management program in Hungary. When he added that the video includes English subtitles, I gave it a click, and I include the link here and embed the video below.  The fairly fast-paced video includes a lively music track.

Readers who are familiar with restorative practices will immediately see those practices acted out in the various scenarios by the students and faculty. Instead of isolating, stigmatizing and expelling troublesome students, the program emphasizes creating an inclusive climate through peer support and engagement. Conflicts aren’t ignored or dismissed, but they are not reflexively handled through heavy-handed discipline or ostracism.

Special thanks to Martin Wright of the Lambeth Mediation Service, and contributor to the website RJ Online.

Intertwined – community conflict resolution in school from Balazs Benedek on Vimeo.

‘Beyond Prisons’ shines a light on alternatives to prison

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For anyone interested in alternatives to prison — as in, something other than “lock ‘em up and throw away the key” — there’s a gold mine of information and insight into the criminal justice system in the current issue of … Continue reading →

Beyond Phenomenal Forgiveness: A Mother’s Relationship with Her Son’s Killer

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Victim-offender Johnson Israel

Mary Johnson, 59, spoke with Oshea Israel, 34, at StoryCorps in Minneapolis.

Ginny H., a friend of this blog, shared this story (<—click here) from National Public Radio's StoryCorps. If you missed the NPR broadcast this morning, I urge you to invest the time to read and listen to this story. It begins with the gang-related murder of her son, Laramiun Byrd, and it extends from a conscious decision to forgive the killer to developing a loving relationship with him.

For people who champion Restorative Justice, this can only be a story of inspiration. Involving victims and offenders in restorative conferences early on might increase the likelihood of phenomenal outcomes like these. It is not an easy process, and not everyone in the justice system will even be willing to consider restorative options. But the story of Mary Johnson and Oshea Israel stands as a testimony to what is sometimes possible.

If you’re involved in neighborhood justice, or the local justice system — or, if you are just a concerned citizen who wants something more than orange jump suits for offenders, followed by the release of angry inmates into your community — and, if you think crime victims deserve a time of deep listening to their pain by the offender, the justice system and the community, maybe you will want to investigate local options for Restorative Justice (RJ).

RJ offers no easy grace or instantaneous forgiveness. It entails a difficult process to repair harms done, and to restore victims and offenders to a more compassionate community. The current system of warehousing of prisoners and neglecting crime victims does not seem to be working at all well. Is it time to investigate alternatives?

Parents of Troubled Teens — Start Your Search Here

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Parents of troubled teens, and their teachers and counselors, live with the likelihood that their rapidly maturing children might soon face the court system.  Suddenly the child who seemed so full of promise might face the very real prospect of facing a juvenile court referral.  From that point, the probability of having a child in the justice system is a nagging threat.  The fear is always lurking that their “golden child”, their beloved son or daughter,  might soon face expulsion for bullying, or become a defendant in a bullying case.  Some, who fear that the taunts of their children’s classmates may be true, and that their child might really be gay, lesbian, or transgendered, worry that their kids might be bullied and suffer lifelong scars, or even death.

[amazon_enhanced asin="0979841127" /]In 21st Century America, the threat of violence is always a possibility.  Even middle-class, peaceful families know that they are not immune.  Not only in America, but in Canada, England, Australia, New Zealand…in any so-called developed nation around the world, parents walk a thin line between responding to classroom discipline and facing an escalation in the system’s treatment of their child.

At fairnessworks.p1r8.net, we are looking for ways of bringing concerned parents into constructive contact — early in the process, before “juvie” or jail  — with methods of intervention and conflict resolution which can save the future of their troubled teens.  The goal of this blog is to link parents like these with well-established methods of responding to youth crises, such as Restorative Justice and peacemaking circles.  Creating a Culture of Care in the schools is a possible solution, with practitioners who know how to implement these programs.  Hope for restoration is not a false hope, and the possibility of linking to alternatives to punitive and retributive justice is a viable option.

We include a wealth of links to alternative methods at fairnessworks.  Look at the categories and tags in the column at right, click on them, read and follow up on them, if you are the parent (or concerned adult) in the life of a troubled teenager.  Post your comments here and reach out for help.  If you have read this far, you are a “seat-of-the-pants peacemaker,” and you are NOT alone.  You are the person we want to reach at fairnessworks.p1r8.net.

As the editor and publisher of this blog, I am not the counselor you might need.  But I will do my best to link you to the help you are seeking.  Remember, you are not alone.
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Wise Words from Men to Men

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Men Stopping Violence is a strong presence here in the Atlanta, GA, area.  They’re all about accountability and responsibility, and their programs draw on the higher instincts in men to end violence and abuse of women.  Chapter of MSV are all over the world.
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Men Stopping Violence is not a “bumper sticker” organization.  They’re not about “lock ‘em up and throw away they key.”  They are not afraid to do the hard work of helping men of all ages look deep into themselves for their own reasons for committing violence against women.  It’s painful, courageous work.  It’s a lot harder than simply putting offenders in orange jumpsuits and warehousing them in jails.

Sometimes the first step to making peace is simply not committing violence.  Sometimes that first step is not so simple.  Training and peer support helps immensely.  It’s about creating a culture of care.

preventing domestic violence and violence againsst women through peer counseling and support

Men Stopping Violence worldwide offers training and counseling to prevent violence against women.

Men Stopping Violence worldwide is an indispensable resource in addressing the causes of violence, looking first within to the hidden justifications for the abuse and humiliating treatment of women.

“Bully” Helps Middle Schoolers Confront School Violence

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Matthew Kuehlhorn

You might not think of a middle school counselor as a “seat-of-the-pants peacemaker.”  If your child is facing daily bullying, you might see him in a different light.  If your child is withdrawing from life, suddenly uncommunicative, maybe you think about talking to the school administration.  If you are lucky, you will find someone like Matthew Kuehlhorn.

Matthew Kuehlhorn is a Colorado middle school counselor who is passionate about helping create a community of care in schools.  He is exploring ways of implementing Restorative Justice methods in his workplace — your child’s school.  At my invitation, he submitted the following.  Recent postings in fairnessworks.p1r8.net have featured examples of programs which implement restorative, peacemaking methods.  Matthew’s efforts are a timely example of what an individual can do to help create peace.

Matthew is passionate about a graphic novel entitled, Bully.  I hope you will check this out and find ways to implement his peacemaking passions into your own local school.

Bully is an educational illustrated novel.

An illustrated novel

The book is designed to “Ignite the Voice Within” classroom, as he terms it.  Bully is an illustrated novel that teaches relationship building skills and introduces restorative justice practices and theory.

Bully is an amazing story where characters talk directly to middle school readers. The story is emotionally charged and very real for students in today’s classrooms.

After speaking with an educator who used this book in individual sessions, Matthew says, she remarked:

“I have had readers tell me that they have not finished a book in five years. They love this book and have a high interest in finishing it. The book offers great conversation topics which can affect student behavior in our school–for the better!”

Students report this book being like “real life” and the feedback has been amazing.

Bully is 130 pages, which are broken into five sections with “Ignite Now” lessons offered.  Lessons teach:  how to listen, how to tell our story so it gets heard, how to feel empathy, and the book concludes with introducing talking circles and restorative justice.

The book is authored by Teresa Milbrodt, a published short story author and Creative Writing Professor at Western State College of Colorado.  Compelling illustrations were created by Nathan Kubes, a freelance artist, also in Gunnison, CO.

What other people say about Bully:

“I had students, who had not finished a book in years, unable to put this book down.”
Middle School English Teacher

“This is like Real Life”
7th Grade Student

“I recommend this book for students, parents, teachers, counselors, administrators and those people interested in education.”
Dr. Tom Cavanagh

Dr. Tom Cavanagh

 

Dr. Cavanagh, whose current focus is on creating a “Culture of Care” in schools,  has published a review of Bully which can be viewed at:

http://restorativepracticesinschools.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-book-addresses-bullying.html

If you are a school teacher or counselor, and have ideas about reaching the potential peacemakers in your local community, please share your comments below.  I’d suggest this mental exercise:  what Google searches would your students’ parents enter to find help for their concerns troubled teens?

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Restorative Justice Lesson: What a take on “an eye for an eye”!

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If you click no other link today, please click on this one: on “Paintball Justice.”  You can download a pdf of the paper, if you feel especially geeky.  (Hint: feel geeky.)

Dr. Tom Cavanagh’s new blog merits a few moments of your time!  You may be familiar with “The Paintball Case,” but if you aren’t, you’re in store for an amazing example of how Restorative Justice can give an entirely new, 21st Century, application to the ancient Hebrew law of proportionality in retribution, “An eye for an eye.”

To many of us “post-moderns,” the retributive practice of lex talionis may seem simultaneously common sensical, fair, yet still barbaric.  When you consider the preceding historical practice went something like this —  an entire tribe must give it’ s life for an offense of any kind against one’s own tribe — lex talionis sounds awfully reasonable.

Dr. Tom’s blog  case of Paintball Justice shows the amazing outcomes that can emerge from an offender who, in a community of accountability and restorative justice, offers an amend that is far greater than any court might impose.  It’s a worthwhile lesson for the criminal justice system.

Please share your responses here by commenting on this posting.  If you find it helpful, tell Dr.  Cavanagh.  (Self-promotional note:  tell him you saw it on www. fairnessworks.p1r8.net.)  He may be reached at cavanagh.tom@gmail.com.

Spoiler alert.  Read the pdf before reading the following:

District Court Judge Fred McElrea, of Auckland, New Zealand, a pioneer in the application of restorative justice processes in the courts, made these comments about “The Paintball Case”:  “I think this a great case study – informative, educative and insightful.  What was most impressive was the boy’s offer to donate part of his eye if that would bring back her sight.  The second reaction I have is to marvel at the way in which restorative justice helps build community bonds that were not there before – for example, the common interest and empathy of the two families.  Lastly, it brings home how simple it really is to get these things going!  That is because this sort of process is second nature to most people, whereas the court process is an artificial, ritualized procedure that obscures people’s real feelings and desire for reconciliation.”